In my last IWSG post, I was freaking out over how well things were suddenly going in my never-ending quest to publish my first novel, Effigy. Today I'd like to continue that freak out.
Because this is a safe space, and if you're laughing at me (and, really, why wouldn't you?), you're doing it in the privacy of your own homes or workspaces or wherever it is you get on the internet, and I can't see you doing it. Unless you start sending me videos of you laughing at me.
But that just seems mean. And you're not mean.
So the last time I was freaking out on IWSG day, I was starting Effigy's "final" edits (still feel the need to add the quotes) and worrying about how well it all was going.
Things haven't stopped going well. Now, the "final" edits are done, the cover is done, and I'm choosing between interior design samples for an actual physical paperback book.
And I'm worrying. I'm worrying that I'm making all the wrong decisions. That my cover, as lovely as I feel it is, may not be the right cover. That I might choose the absolute wrong interior design. That my blurb (provided I actually settle down long enough to finalize it) is just wrong, wrong, wrong. I'm terrified that I have done and am doing everything wrong.
And I don't know what to do.
My significant other told me I just have to go with my gut. It's good advice, and I'm trying very hard to follow this advice, but here's the thing...my gut is also what told me it was a good idea to eat two boxes of Girl Scout cookies in a single sitting, so I'm not exactly sure my gut is the most trustworthy thing ever.
Though those Girl Scout cookies were really good.
Maybe my gut does know what it's doing.
So here's my current plan: I'm going to keep pushing on. I'm going to ignore the worry like it's the boss at my day job, and I'm going to keep moving forward. I have a list of everything that's left to do (unless I've forgotten about something...Damn! Now I have to worry about that too!), and every day I shall endeavor to cross just one thing off that list.
Eventually I'll get there.
Unless I get distracted by Girl Scout cookies. Tagalongs, thou art my undoing. You too, Thin Mints.
That's going to do it for me today. Thanks for listening.