I set this goal at the beginning of February to be finished by the end of February (so naturally, I have waited until the end of February to start).
That's right—it's still not finished. How is such a thing possible, you may be asking yourself, because haven't I been working on this for an embarrassingly long time? I know—a roomful of monkeys with typewriters could have written a better blurb by now, and they don't even know what the story's about!
That's right—it's still not finished. How is such a thing possible, you may be asking yourself, because haven't I been working on this for an embarrassingly long time? I know—a roomful of monkeys with typewriters could have written a better blurb by now, and they don't even know what the story's about!
So what's my excuse? Well, I'll tell you.
I really just don't want to do it.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I've researched blurb writing tips, read articles on the subject, and spent a lot of time at bookstores and at home (which, really, could be its own bookstore) reading actual back-of-the-book blurbs. I've written draft upon draft of serious blurbs as I try to find that one right hook that will make the rest flow. I haven't found it yet; I haven't found anything that I feel good about for very long.
Plus, there's this thing where I keep taking the blurb off the list of Things To Do. Sometimes I get frustrated and need to walk away for a while. Sometimes I get busy with "life stuff" (translation: family and day job) and all writing-related whatevers get set aside for a while.
But when it is on the list of Things To Do, I tend to procrastinate and spend my time writing fake blurbs that I would never use in a million years. You know, kind of like this:
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I've researched blurb writing tips, read articles on the subject, and spent a lot of time at bookstores and at home (which, really, could be its own bookstore) reading actual back-of-the-book blurbs. I've written draft upon draft of serious blurbs as I try to find that one right hook that will make the rest flow. I haven't found it yet; I haven't found anything that I feel good about for very long.
Plus, there's this thing where I keep taking the blurb off the list of Things To Do. Sometimes I get frustrated and need to walk away for a while. Sometimes I get busy with "life stuff" (translation: family and day job) and all writing-related whatevers get set aside for a while.
But when it is on the list of Things To Do, I tend to procrastinate and spend my time writing fake blurbs that I would never use in a million years. You know, kind of like this:
"This book is awesome! You should buy it!"
"Buying this book will make you cool. You want to be cool, don't you?"
"This book has sex in it! Lots of sex! Well, okay, maybe not lots, but some. There's some sex in it. Which is still sex, so I'm not lying or anything."
"Um, so there are, like, these people, and they do...things, and stuff happens. Then they do, you know, other things, and other stuff happens..."
"Read this book. It probably won't be the worst thing you've ever read. Probably."
One day I wrote a haiku blurb:
ancient evil looms
can Haleine save her people
and not lose herself
which was followed by a limerick blurb:
There once was a queen named Haleine
who thought battling evil a pain.
She found support in her lover
and a small pegasus who hovered
And soon she became evil's bane...
because that's just the kind of dork I am. Clever, huh?
But my favorite silly blurb was suggested by the amazing Callie Leuck. It goes a little something like this (warning: it may not be exactly suitable for young children or work):
Kick-ass lady! Jerky bad guy you want to punch in the face! UNICORNS, MOTHERF*&KER! Read this book.
But my favorite silly blurb was suggested by the amazing Callie Leuck. It goes a little something like this (warning: it may not be exactly suitable for young children or work):
Kick-ass lady! Jerky bad guy you want to punch in the face! UNICORNS, MOTHERF*&KER! Read this book.
I think she really captured here everything that needed to be captured. Which is why I printed out a copy and tacked it to the storyboard. Reading it makes me laugh.
But anyway, as much fun as the silly blurbs are and have been, the time has come for me to buckle down and knock this thing out for real. Final edits are finished (in theory, anyway). A cover is coming (in theory, anyway), and I'm going to need something to put on the back of it. Something serious. And as I am lacking promotional plugs from Oprah or George R.R. Martin or Stephen King or Joss Whedon—or anyone, for that matter, famous or otherwise—I'll have to go with the blurb.
Hence my goal for the week. Come back on Wednesday for part two of this riveting series when I share with you (for your consideration and possible ridicule) my attempts at a serious blurb.
In the meantime, thanks for stopping by today. It's much appreciated. Hope y'all have a great week.