So in honor of this prestigious holiday, I am going to share some work haiku written for and about The Store's management trio. Some of these haiku you may have read before on Twitter or Facebook or even this blog. Some are new, never-before-seen creations. And maybe you know this already, but none of them will be thanking Management for being kind and fair. That doesn't really happen a whole lot at The Store. It's actually the root cause of why I haven't even spoken to #1 Boss since the beginning of August.
Ah, good times. Well, shall we begin?
my boss is napping
on the stockroom shelves today
when is my naptime?
boss is still sleeping
I want to write a haikubut I'm too damn mad
message for my boss:
don't bother being nice now
it will not help you
boss just called to say
her clothes aren't dry yet so she's
going to be late
my boss promised that
she would be on time today
I suspect she lied
micromanaging
pisses me right the hell off
please stop doing it
my boss is proof that
a poorly trained monkey could
succeed at this job
boss is freaking out
thinks we all want her to quit
should i tell her yes?
to my manager:
I can't be bribed with candy
try brownies instead
on paper you're boss
but it's better if you don't
tell me what to do
my boss wants to know
why i am so mad at her
where do i begin?
So that's going to do it for me today—I'm off to work another action-packed shift. Thank you for stopping by and perusing my madness. I'll try to do better the next time.