0 Film Favorites: I Need A Hero (and a hug)

I write to you today from the pit of despair, where I am Westley having the life sucked out of me. I write to you from the swamps of sadness where I am somehow both Atreyu and Artax. I write to you from...other depressing-type places. I'm sorry. I'm just...too sad to think of any others.

If you follow NFL news at all, you may have heard that my beloved Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker (as seen to your left) signed a deal. With the Denver Freaking Broncos. So today is the last day I can use the picture seen on your left because my beloved Wes Welker is a New England Patriot no more.

Obviously I am taking this poorly very well. While I have received taunts assurances from L.G. Smith that Wes Welker will be well taken care of and will look smashing catching PEYTON FREAKING MANNING'S touchdowns in his new blue and orange uniform, and while I am sure she's right, my heart is bereft and broken.

So while it may seem silly, I'm going to need a while to be okay with this. And by 'a while', I mean...like, a really long time because the truth remains that I'm still pretty pissed with Adam Vinatieri and I am was way more attached to Wes Welker than I was Adam.

And don't even get me started on Johnny Damon.

But let us not dwell on that...disappointment. Instead, let's take a look on the awesome side of life where the Veronica Mars movie was greenlit, thanks to Kickstarter and the efforts of fans everywhere.

In just eleven hours, fans worldwide raised the two million dollars needed to finance a big screen version of one of my all-time favorite television shows. And last time I checked, pledges are still rolling in.

The goal was to raise two million in thirty days, and the unfailingly loyal fans of this show did it in eleven hours.

Of course now we have to wait until 2014 to see this movie, but hey, it'll be worth the wait. And can I please buy my tickets now?

So now that we've covered the Facts of Life portion of this post, let's get down to my rundown on my favorite superhero/comic book  movies. I'll try to make it a little more brief than my previous posts, but I make no promises because first on my list is...

1. The Avengers


(Partially) written and directed by my idol—and yours—Joss 'the boss' Whedon, this movie really needs no introduction as I've talked about it nonstop since I saw it last May and, judging by the amount of money it made, most of you have seen it. And as for favorite moments/lines, there are seriously too many to list here. I really just want to post the entire movie for your viewing pleasure, but I am going to limit myself to just five moments and/or lines. If I don't happen to list your favorite, tell me what it is in the comments because I'm sure I love that moment too.

—Natasha's interrogation scene at the beginning, especially the parts where she kicks everyone's ass while tied to a chair and the snippet of Phil Coulson on hold.

—Hulk smashing Loki

—Hulk punching Thor

—Tony Stark: No hard feelings, Point Break, you've got a mean swing.

—Tony Stark: It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.

Damn. Was that five already?

2. The Dark Knight/ The Dark Knight Rises

I've always Batman as a superhero—so much more than Superman or the Flash or Aquaman— and while I want to give a special shout-out to the 1966 Batman movie starring Adam West and Burt Ward (some days you just can't get rid of a bomb), I thought these two most recent Batman offerings were fantastic. I'd include the first in this trilogy too if it hadn't been for the unfortunate casting of Katie Holmes. Sorry, Joey Potter, but it is my opinion that you didn't belong in this movie. 

I don't know what I can say about Heath Ledger's Joker that hasn't already been said and more eloquently so than anything I could've come up with (which probably would've been 'awesome' because I apparently do not have a varied vocabulary whereas good movies are concerned)  and just last weekend I finally watched The Dark Knight Rises and spent most of the movie in love with Joseph Gordon-Leavitt and Anne Hathaway (possibly the best Catwoman ever. Sorry, Lee Merriweather) while squinting at Bane saying "I know that's supposed to be Tom Hardy, but how is that possible?"

Favorite lines (all from TDKR):

Lucius Fox: [to Batman] I like your new girlfriend!
Catwoman: He should be so lucky.

Catwoman: You could have gone anywhere, but you came back.
Batman: So did you.
Catwoman: Well then I guess we're both suckers.

3. The Incredibles


This is an animated film released by Pixar in 2004—featuring the vocal talents of Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Samuel L. Jackson and Jason Lee—that tells the story of a family of superheroes attempting to normal lives in suburbia. It has a great story, great animation and some truly hysterical scenes. Like when Edna Mode tells Bob why his redesigned superhero outfit could not have a cape. Or the scene of the family dinner. Or the conversation from the scene where superheroes undercover Bob and Lucius are rescuing people from a burning building:

Bob: Can't you put this out?
Lucius: I can't lay down a layer thick enough. It's evaporating too fast!
Bob: What's that mean?
Lucius: It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, Bob!
Bob: You're out of ice? You can't run out of ice! I thought you could use the water in the air!
Lucius: There *is no* water in the air! What's your excuse, running out of muscle?
Bob: I can't just go smashing through walls! The building's getting weaker by the second, it's going to come down on top of us!
Lucius: I wanted to go bowling!

But my absolute favorite scene (and the one I still quote from today) is the following:



And that's going to do it for me today. Tune in tomorrow when I'll probably talk about my favorite spoof movies.