I've been trying to figure out how to start this post for a while now. Like, a long while. Hours. Days. Weeks. But not months so I guess that's something. I write a sentence, think about it for a while and then delete it. And then after about thirty or so attempts at typing a single sentence, thinking about it and then deleting it, I just shut down the computer and go do something else. Only 'something else' these days either involves a shift at The Store (Retail, thou art the bane of my existence) or staring aimlessly at a wall because I don't seem to have anything left right now. I am an M.J. shaped pile of nothing.
So, hey, aren't you glad I'm here to blog about all the nothing?
And I don't want to be a drama queen and I don't want to make excuses which is a big part of why I haven't blogged in so long. Because everything I would say feels like an excuse. Yes, I received Bad News at the start of the month and it took me down. I let it take me down and I let it keep me down. I should have been stronger. I should have been more resilient but I wasn't. And as I can't change this, I'm going to try something new where I don't beat myself up over it.
Just... don't ask how that's going.
Instead let's talk about NaNoWriMo. This is something else over which I am not going to beat myself up. Probably. Maybe.
And why is that, you might ask? Well, I'm going to lose this year. This is my fourth year participating and it'll be my very first loss. I'm currently sitting at just over 14,000 words which is just about... 31,000 words behind where I should be at this time. According to the stats page, at my current rate of production, I'll be crossing that finish line in February. Of 2013. Not my best NaNoWriMo performance. Not by a long shot.
And I'm going to be okay with that. Someday. Maybe. In February. Of 2023.
But enough about my failure. I see from my Buddies Page that some of you are already winners and many of the rest of you are agonizingly close. I applaud those who have already won and I am rooting for the rest of you.
And I'm happy for the people whose books I've recently purchased (Jolene Perry, Michael Offutt, Gwen Gardner, Andrew Leon and more!). Your accomplishments are awesome in every sense of the word and I look forward to reading your stories.
And I look forward to getting back into the swing of things. Or, at least, making an effort toward getting back into the swing of things. And in the name of doing just that, I am going to end this post with a life's philosophy posted on a Facebook page by a woman much wiser than me (I don't know from where it originated but her page is where I found it):
Laugh when you can... Apologize when you should... And let go of what you can't change. Love deeply and forgive quickly... Take chances and give your everything... Life is too short to be anything but happy... You have to take the good with the bad... Love what you have and always remember what you had. Forgive but don't forget... And always remember that life goes on.
P.S... I hope everyone celebrating Thanksgiving had a good one!