Today's post is devoted to some of my favorite villains. In the interest of time, I'm sticking to television and musical blog villains because it's my blog and I can do that if I want to. (Plus, these villains get all the best YouTube clips...)
Villains are awesome. They teach us so much. For example, what not to do with secret agents. If you capture a James Bond type , you're much better off just shooting him in the head rather than dangling him over a pool filled with sharks wearing lasers on their heads.
Because that never ends well. James Bond always gets away.
But mostly what I take away from my villains is this simple life lesson: perseverance. (Because the truth is, I very seldom have to deal with secret agents in any way, shape or form). They teach us to never give up. Some inconsiderate hero comes along and ruins your carefully devised plans? You go ahead and make a new one.
Every single night, Pinky asks the Brain "What are we going to do tonight?" and Brain always answers, "The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world."
And every single time, they're unsuccessful but every single outing ends with Pinky saying, "What are we going to do tomorrow night?" And every single time Brain answers, "the same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world."
Insert deep well written life lesson here. Blah, blah, blah... don't give up. Never give in! Never surrender! Whatever. Here are some of my other favorite villains:
Skeletor
Yes, from He-Man. The original cartoon series, not the newer ones. He was always the skeleton with a plan and an insult. He never missed an opportunity to try and take over Eternia and call He-Man (0r his own henchmen) names while doing it. Plus, in the He-Man And She-Ra Christmas Special (yes, Virginia, there really is such a thing and it is the most awesome Christmas special ever), he saved a puppy (and, fine, two children) while learning about the meaning of Christmas. And then went right back to trying to take over the world the next day...
Dr. Doofenschmirtz
From Phineas and Ferb. While I find the Phineas and Ferb parts of the story fun, it's really the Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus portion of each half hour that keep me coming back to this totally delightful (even though I have no children) cartoon. He's a classic mad scientist, an evil genius hiding out in his evil lair (you know, the big skyscraper with his name in giant letters on the side), with his own jingle. (That's really what evil villain needs, you know. A jingle.) Every single episode, he has a new "-inator", for example the "destruct-inator" that he planned to use to destroy everyone's garden gnomes. Then there's my personal favorite the "Turn Everything Evil- Inator" which he hoped to use to well, turn everything evil. Of course it never works but that never prevents Heinz Doofenshmirtz from coming up with another new -Inator.
And Last But Certainly Not Least...
Captain Hammer
(with a special honorable mention to Bad Horse the Thoroughbred of Sin, Fake Thomas Jefferson and the rest of the Evil League of Evil)
From Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. If you don't know what that is, I'm not sure we can be friends anymore. But I tell you what... if you go watch it on YouTube right this moment, I'll forgive you. Probably.
Oh, Captain Hammer. How do I love thee? Yes, I know you're technically the hero of the piece but let's face it. You're a corporate tool. And you also break my villains never say die rule because the last we see you, you're sobbing on your therapist's couch while Dr. Horrible runs rampant over the city. Dammit, Captain Hammer! I can't count on you for anything!!
Except a laugh. In the following clip, he delivers what is really quite possibly the greatest line ever written:
My God, I love Joss Whedon. But that's a post for next week.
Now it's your turn: Who are your favorite villains? Tell me below (even if they come from books...).